Pressing Through Adversity

Today has been a day of deep reflection and introspection. I have begun to back off from the job sites with FidScapes and entrust that to my much-more-than-capable wife and crew. I am so very blessed to be supported and surrounded by some of the most incredible and talented people on the planet. Hence the day of administration, course work in case management, reflection and introspection.

We all face deep adversity at times, none of us are exempt. And many times, perhaps most often, (at least in my life) the adversity is self-inflicted. Just over the past week I have made some decisions that I am not proud of at all. I cannot think of anything I have done to complicate my life yet today, but it is just now lunchtime. Yet so often I hear people say about others: “well they got themselves into that situation, they can get themselves out.” Really, can they? Really, could I? - if I did not have a wife, a family, a work crew, friends, people that believe in me, that know that my initial tendency is often times to just mess things up?

You see, we cast these sweeping judgments on people without knowing the whole story. Why write off the man in the woods by saying, “oh well, he put himself there by his own bad choices.” Yet we exonerate the local businessman who has been having an affair on his wife as just needing to get his needs met. Why?

What I have learned in my life is that the only reason I still have a chance from day to day to do anything positive with my life is not because of me at all but because of the other people that God has placed in my life. I still have a business because I have been blessed with a great support team. I still have a chance because of my family. I still have friends because they really believe in grace. I still have a wife because she sees beyond my insanity to my potential. But what if I/we did not have all of that? What if the businessman cheating on his wife, having the affair, and it being swept under the rug, did not have all that? Quite frankly his chances of also being in the woods would be much greater.

I would love to sit here and say that I press on because God gives me all of this supernatural strength and sometimes that is true, but really it is because God gives me strength through people who love me and support me even in spite of my foolishness. In many cases the people we look upon with such disdain are just one step away from pressing on but they need a hug, the need some love, they need more than a meal, they need a friend.

We must come to a point where we see ourselves as potentially the most downcast of society because in a sense that is who we are apart from the people that we are surrounded by. You may claim to be self-made but I highly doubt it. I would guess that even the self-proclaimed, self-made, hanger of the stars still makes bad choices and is assisted in “righting” those wrongs by people that love and care for their “self-made” selves.

We press on because we have hope! Do you know that if you have found yourself with no home, no family, no income, no food, no true friends, etc., etc., that it is hard to have hope? God forgive me that I ever feel hopeless when I am surrounded by hope. God forgive me that I see hope on display in almost every single facet of my life but I sometimes feel hopeless. That is why I am able to press on and I can never take a moment’s credit for that. What if none of that was there? Could I still press on in the face of adversity? Probably not!

Regardless of how messed up and flawed I tend to be or you may be, we need each other! I need you and you need me. We can never get through this life or this world without each other. We can only keep on pressing on because others have and we have seen it. We can only press on because we are loved and capable of love. We can only keep pressing on in adversity because God has shown us love through other people.

In the book of Proverbs there is a verse that at times has been the calling card for my life. In chapter 18 and verse 1 the writer says: “Whoever isolates himself seeks his own desire; he breaks out against all sound judgment” (esv). Yep, know that one well - all too well.

But the same author also wrote: “Two are better than one, because they have a good reward for their toil. For if they fall, one will lift up his fellow. But woe to him who is alone when he falls and has not another to lift him up!” (Eccl. 4:9-10)

Can I just tell you on behalf of myself and all of the rest of us who are deeply wounded at times in this world that we live in, we need each other! The only way we can ever expect to press on and to finish well is if I have you and you have me. This is not some cheesy Barney song but a radical truth that I know is true. So let’s all press on in adversity together and seek out those in our community that just need that pat on the back, that hug, that love that says “you can press on, because you matter and you are worth it.”

I know that I need you!

Coincidence??

While considering our move to Sumter, there just seemed to be too many obstacles and unanswered questions. It just appeared to Kim and I both that it would be farther down the road than either of us hoped for. But as the week progressed things just began to happen that could never, in my heart or mind, just be chalked up as coincidence (which I personally do not believe in by the way).

Anyway, here are just a few of the "confirmations" that we are moving where God wants us and that even though we are so flawed as individuals, that He is 100% there for us and in it with us:

1. My Dad just point blank says to me "son I want you to move home so I can spend more time with you before I am gone." - I said, "ok, that is a sizable tug, but I am just not sure." I went to bed praying one night that God would some how speak to me about this. The next day I received an email from someone I knew in high school sharing her experience with me about her Dad's last 6 months and moving home to have spent it with him. Not saying Dad has 6 months, but the point remains.

2. I started looking at houses and it just was not going to work out for us financially, or so I thought. The one house I found that I loved the most was the last one I looked at. I was doubting, but when I called, the owner of the house OFFERED the exact same conditions I was going to ask for without me bringing it up. The only conditions that would have worked for us at this time.

3. Kim came home and we went to see the house and every room already matches all of the furniture, art, bedding, etc. that we have and they are fine with our pets (huge).

4. Kim and I go eat lunch at a last minute "random" spot in Sumter that we had not planned on and there we run into a friend who develops real estate and he asks "are you going to be doing landscaping here? I have a brand new subdivision I am developing and would like you to look at it." We have the job.

5. Kim and I are at a local store looking at plants for the entrances to the subdivision and I say to her, "I sure would love to have a nursery vendor connection down in Charleston for our plants." The next day a childhood friend sends me an email and in that email it says: "...we do have a fabulous commercial nursery here & I'd be glad to introduce you." He lives in Charleston.

6. We get back to Greensboro last night and sit down to eat and I asked the Lord to please give us some new business for FidScapes to help us in the move - that was last night - 20 minutes ago I was contacted by a brand new customer with a large job that needs to be done this weekend.

As I reflect on all of this I am truly amazed. I know I shouldn't be surprised because God has always been there for me. However, I hope I never lose the sense of awe that I have in my heart right now and turn my back on Him and return to being that selfish, self-centered fool I can often be. God is there! God is here! God is real and He truly causes all things..................

Birthday Prayer

Father I thank You for another year of life. I thank You for waking me up and sustaining my life for another 365 days! I thank You that You have sought me far more often than I have sought after You. I thank You for the lessons that I have learned through the successes that You provided for me. I thank You for the failures in my life life and that Your sovereign grace turns those failures into lessons. I ask that You please show me how to learn from the poor choices and bad decisions and I plead with You to turn the hurts, pains, resentments, and bitterness of this past year into trophies of Your love, mercy and grace!

Thank You for those who remain faithful to me in my life despite my struggles, but most of all, thank You for being faithful to me and reminding me that no matter how much I may doubt myself, become depressed or discouraged that You promise that You love me with a steadfast and everlasting love. You tell me that You never leave me or forsake me and that is the greatest gift of all. Thank You that Your mercies are new every morning and that no matter how far I may have fallen that You have always been there to scoop me up and draw me back to Yourself.

Thank You that You know my heart and love me anyway! Thank You for a wife and family that demonstrate Your love to me in a way that I see it each and every day of my life. Thank You Lord that when I take You for granted, that You still love me with a love incomprehensible!

Thank You for the greatest gift of all in that while I was at my farthest point away from You and submersed in rebellion that You sought me out and called me to Yourself. Thank You, that even today, You are actively intentional about Your grace in my life! Please continue to pour that out on me in a way that my life, over this next year, is one that vaguely resembles the man I am today and all of it, for Your honor and for Your glory! Thank YOU!

One Thing!

The past two weeks rank right up there with the most difficult times I have experienced as a person. I have seen my marriage falter, my spirit wrenched, my sin nature rise up from the ashes, friends turn against me, vision disintegrate, faith fall apart at the seams,and certain hopes appear to fly right out of the window. Much of it comes from outside of my own doing and influence, but I must admit that I have "lost it" when it comes to personal focus and attention to what truly sustains the soul and spirit.

I have never been one that is best at juggling multiple responsibilities and doing it well. I tend toward doing one thing at a time and striving to do that to the best of my ability. I wrote the book on spreading myself too thin and with the proper heart and motives allowing myself to get to a place where I am of no good to anyone at all because I want to do too much. I have been through this sooooooooo many times. It seems that I would have learned this lesson by now, but I continue to repeat this pattern in my life.

Several years ago I had a pastor who invested in me continuously and made a tremendous difference in my life. The one thing I will always remember about him the most was his emphasis on Psalm 27 as he worked with me and his emphasis on that one thing being the One Thing!

Psalm 27:4 states "One thing have I asked of the LORD, that will I seek after: that I may dwell in the house of the LORD all the days of my life, to gaze upon the beauty of the LORD and to inquire in his temple" (esv). It is a singleness of purpose that paves the way for all other purposes in my life. If I cannot honestly say to the Lord "You are the One thing that I seek. You and You alone are the anchor of my soul and the purpose of my life. All I truly desire is You and You alone", then I am incapable of fulfilling any other purposes in my life, no matter how noble those purposes may be.

I am so thankful that the Lord allows me to see this after a couple of weeks and not months or years. I am still one of the most hardheaded participants in the human race, but maybe, just maybe, I learn some lessons a little quicker than I used to. I am so thankful that the entire house of cards does not have to come down on me before I realize that I am trying to do too much and that my primary focus in life is not doing, but being, and that pursuing the things of God is NOT the same as pursuing God Himself.

He is the One Thing that matters! He, in His person, is what the Psalmist seeks in this verse. Today, as I work, I pray that the ONLY thing I truly seek is to "gaze upon the beauty of the LORD and to inquire in his temple." No matter how I feel, what I think, or what my opinions about certain things may or may not be. No matter how much joy or pain or strength or weakness or happiness or depression I may feel, my ultimate responsibility is but One Thing and that is the pursuit of God Himself!

"The Unpaid Guardians of My Soul"

Currently I am reading a book called "ReChurch - Healing Your Way Back to the People of God". It is a great book and one that I needed to read. I have been one to be very frustrated with the church and easily wounded by those within the church (as well as one to wound). There have been times that I just wanted to walk away but I knew that it was not an option. I have left churches because my feelings were hurt. I have avoided and walked away from people for the same reason(s).

The book is a healing journey into dealing with those wounds and hurts but written in a way that I have to take responsibility for my selfishness, inability to function with a thicker skin and also expecting far too much of those in leadership who also happen to be humans on that same struggling path as the rest of us.

This morning I came across a section of the book that tells of a great missionary statesman named E. Stanley Jones. He suffered a lot of criticism over the years for his unconventional ways of ministry in India. He was constantly under the scrutiny of others who felt as if his ways were improper.

The thing that stuck out to me was that he referred to his critics, even those who intended to be mean-spirited or to wound him as a person, as "the unpaid guardians of his soul". This really hit me. I want to defend myself, refuse the criticism and write people off. He took the insight of even his enemies and used that as an opportunity for self reflection that caused him tremendous peace and success. What an amazing sign of maturity and confidence in who God created him to be.

How many of us would be willing to receive what could be words of truth from someone who we know wants to harm us or slander us? How many of us believe that good can truly come out of a venomous spouting of a mouth full of hate? Stephen Mansfield says "It is a great art of living to be able to hear truth in the mouth of your enemies."

Speaking of E. Stanley Jones he says, "Think about what this means, what is required of Jones. He first had to consider the possibility that truth can come even from those who opposed him. He looked into the criticism, separated the jewels of wisdom from the dung hill of empty words, and then applied that wisdom carefully to his life. Obviously, Jones had made this a habit and felt so grateful for the good it had done him that he was able to call his critics 'guardians,' because they kept him from errors and excess, laziness and wrongheaded ideas."

Whether it comes from someone in a church or religious body, an enemy who hates us, or a loved one who has our best interest at heart, we have to let go of the pride and see that we are not always right! We must refuse the self consuming pride of "that's just tough, this is how I am and how I do it" and be open to the continuous change that needs to take place IN us even if the avenue for that change initially appears as insult and injury.

As the author concludes: "Though they shout their observations and probably intend them to wound you rather than help you, still they are giving you (me, us) insight that can help you (me, us) improve." Think about it!

The Miracle of Selflessness (sermon notes)

The Miracle of Selflessness

My life as a born again believer in Jesus Christ has been anything but a continuous climb upwards. Like those who have gone before me, there have been tremendous highs and catastrophic lows. There have been times of great spiritual success and times that I wished I could turn my back on the faith because of discouragement and not being able to “get it”. I have learned many lessons along the journey, most of them the hard way.

However, there is one primary lesson that I have learned and that is the absolute necessity of being able to rid myself, as much as possible, of self seeking, self centeredness, and self pity. My buddy Mark loves to take Goody Powders when he feels physical pain in his body, what I have learned and hope to communicate tonight, is like the Goody Powder for the heart and mind of the Christian. It just works! It brings instant relief and it eradicates pain. The pain relief I am speaking of, I will call “the miracle of selflessness.”

I grew up rather spoiled. I was adopted as a kid and afforded all that a young man would desire. I had a great family growing up but being in private school for 12 years and being a part of a family that provided the way mine did, led me to having a spoiled brat mentality. As I was learning to deal with the adoption as a young boy I went through childhood sexual abuse and later into drug addiction. All of these situations in my life greatly contributed to a preoccupation with self that would almost kill me in my late twenties and early thirties.

This narcissistic way of life ranged from a selfish need to always try to fit in, to a self loathing and self pity, to the extreme selfishness of addiction. Though I grew up in the church and have been in the church my entire life, there was no real conversion in my heart until 1999 and when that happened, all of the self-related preoccupations came with me. It has taken the better part of the last 10 years to come to grips with the Goody Powder of faith that is the relinquishing of self.

Am I totally there? No, not even close. But I have experienced enough of the freedom that comes from the desire to make the choices to follow Jesus instead of my own selfishness. Jesus tells us in John chapter 8, verses 32 and 36 that “ye shall know the truth and the truth shall set you free” and that “if the Son therefore shall make you free, ye shall be free indeed” - so why such a lack of freedom in the life of the believer and in the church today? Because many times we profess our faith and trust in Him as Savior but sometimes we do not submit on a DAILY basis to Him as Lord!

In Luke 9:23 Jesus tells us that “any man will come after me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross daily, and follow [Him].” The freedom comes in the absence of self.

THERE ARE 3 POINTS THAT I WANT TO MAKE CONCERNING ALL OF THIS:

…. TO ISAIAH CHAPTER 58 AND LETS LOOK AT WHAT THE LORD TELLS THE NATION OF ISRAEL:

· Freedom for the Believer (Is 58: 1-11)

1. Heart inclined to selfishness and self-centeredness.

2. Many times we may tend to practice spiritual discipline w/ selfish motives.

3. God’s “fast” is others-centered and focused on the oppressed and less fortunate.

4. God promises freedom to His people when they meet the needs of others.

…. TO PHILIPPIANS CHAPTER 2 AND SEE WHAT PAUL SAYS TO THE CHURCH AT PHILIPPI:

· Grace for the Brethren (Php. 2: 1-4)

1. Selflessness brings a fellowship that is in the Spirit of grace.

2. Leaders experience joy when followers are united and like-minded.

3. Selfish gain or vain glory prevents us from granted or receiving grace.

4. Because of grace, we are to always esteem or consider others greater than ourselves.

· Unity for the Body (Ps. 133:1, Eccl. 4:8-12)

1. God has designed the church to function as on Body, in unity.

2. Unity is like precious oil that brings an anointing and blessing.

3. Unity brings strength, safety in numbers and protection for the Body.

4. Unity in the Body unites us with Christ as our head.

Solution

I subscribe to several blogs that relate to social issues within our society, most of which involve homelessness, poverty, the poor, and the ills of alcoholism and drug abuse (also not excluding mental illness). Unfortunately most of these, in many cases, are interconnected. Perhaps the greatest number of comments or posts that follow within the blog rolls include statements like "there has to BE a solution" or questions like "can anything really be done about this?" or "what is the solution?", etc.

It is a great thing to be concerned. It is wonderful to care. It is fantastic to ask questions about what the solution(s) might BE? But we have to get out of looking for and searching for A solution and we must BECOME the solution!

Each and everyone of us has the potential to BE the solution, not just sit back and care about or consider what needs to be done. We become what needs to be done and we just DO IT!

The movie "Blindside" is a perfect example. Any of us can do just that. Many of us have businesses both small and large that can not only hire people that have lost their way in this life, but we can be intentional about seeking these folks out and not just to offer them a job but to experience life with them in a way that both sides are changed forever. We go about our business each and every day having numerous opportunities to make a difference and we pass them by.

How many of us have extra food in the cupboard? How many an extra room in the house? How many of us have some extra furniture that we really do not need? How many the extra couple of hours a week to just sit and develop a relationship with someone who feels like they are a lost cause and that no one will ever truly love them?

It is estimated that there are 3,500,000 people in American that are homeless and that 20% of those have full or part-time jobs but cannot afford housing. It is estimated that the population of the United States is around 309,036,000. Now I am certainly no mathematician and I am reluctant to even include numbers, but for the sake of a comparative example, the difference there is about 305 million people. 3 million homeless (the vast majority due to poverty) and 309 million solutions (or younger, future, potential solutions).

Now, to get even more personal, for those of us that profess to be "born again" Christians....... It is estimated that 42% of the American public attends church WEEKLY. That is 129.7 million people. OK, there are 3 million homeless poor and almost 130 million weekly church-goers in the United States. Is it just me, or is there something TRAGICALLY wrong with that?

Please forgive me if my math is wrong, but this seems to indicate that only around 4% of those attending church weekly need to actually implement what the God of Judeo-Christian values and ethics says about these issues for there to be a tremendous drop in all of the aforementioned so-called "ills" of our society. To me, that is an absolute travesty!

If we, who call ourselves Bible-believing Christians, will do what our Bibles say and teach us, the world would be a radically different place. Millions of people who feel they will never be genuinely loved will truly experience the love of God in their lives. The marginalized of our society will know that they matter, have value and can begin to dream and pursue purpose in life again. People who have given up on themselves because of past sins can know beyond the shadow of a doubt that they are forgiven and have a Savior.

Please, it is not enough to care. It is not enough to feel their pain. Please, it is not enough to sit in the comfort of middle/upper class society, enjoying a latte on the back deck (both of which I love) without being willing to share that same joy and pleasure with someone who has never known how great that can be.

Please, stop looking for or praying for a solution and BE the solution!